What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
Learn How ‘Parts Work’ Leads to Healing
If you’ve ever said something like, “A part of me wants to take the leap, but another part is terrified,” then you already have a natural understanding of Internal Family Systems (IFS).
IFS is a therapeutic model that believes our psyche is made up of many parts—each with its own perspective, voice, and role. At the center of it all, though, is something deeper: your Self. This Self is not a part but the calm, compassionate core of who you are.
As a therapist, I’ve watched IFS transform lives. Clients who once felt stuck in anxiety, shame, or constant inner battles discover a new way of relating to themselves—one that is curious, gentle, and healing. Let’s go deeper into how it works.
“All parts are welcome. Even the ones that seem destructive are doing their best to protect us.” - Richard Schwartz
The Basics of IFS
IFS was developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Schwartz, who noticed something interesting when working with clients: people naturally spoke about different “parts” of themselves. For example:
“A part of me wants to forgive, but another part is still so angry.”
“There’s a side of me that just wants to hide.”
Instead of treating this as a metaphor, Schwartz took it literally. He realized that these “parts” each hold wisdom, pain, and protective strategies—and that healing comes when we listen to them.
The foundation of IFS rests on three ideas:
The mind is multiple. Multiplicity is normal—we all have parts.
All parts are welcome. Even the parts that feel destructive are trying to protect us in some way.
The Self is the healer. Everyone has a Self capable of compassion, clarity, and calm leadership.
Why this matters
Many people enter therapy feeling like they are at war with themselves. They come in saying things like:
“I hate how anxious I am.”
“I wish I could just shut off my inner critic.”
“I don’t understand why I keep sabotaging myself.”
These feelings make sense—but they keep us stuck. The traditional way of thinking is: “If I could just get rid of this part, I’d finally be okay.” But the problem is, those parts aren’t enemies. They’re protectors that learned strategies long ago to keep us safe.
IFS offers a radically different perspective:
Instead of “I need to get rid of this part,” we ask: “What is this part protecting?”
An anxious part might be protecting you from rejection.
An angry part might be trying to shield you from being hurt again.
A numbing part might be working overtime to keep old pain buried.
Instead of labeling ourselves as broken, we begin to see the wisdom in our defenses.
That harsh inner critic? It may have developed to keep you from making mistakes that once led to shame.
That perfectionist part? It may have learned that if you excel, you’ll be safe from criticism.
Healing happens not by pushing parts away, but by welcoming them into conversation.
When we turn toward these parts with curiosity instead of judgment, they often surprise us with how much they want relief, connection, and understanding.
Through IFS, instead of spending energy fighting or suppressing parts, you build an alliance with them. Over time, those parts relax, soften, and allow your Self to lead. Clients often describe this shift as moving from constant inner battles to inner teamwork.
“The parts of you that you most want to get rid of are often the ones most in need of your love.” — Richard Schwartz
The Role of the Self
At the center of every person is what IFS calls the Self — your calm, compassionate core. The Self isn’t another part; it’s the steady presence within you that can witness your thoughts and emotions without judgment. It’s who you are when you’re grounded, clear, and connected.
“When you are in Self, you’re no longer fused with your parts; you’re in relationship with them.” — Richard Schwartz
The Self naturally carries the 8 C’s: calmness, clarity, compassion, curiosity, courage, confidence, creativity, and connection. These qualities aren’t something you have to create; they’re already there — often hidden beneath layers of protection or pain.
When Self leads, your inner world feels less chaotic. Instead of fighting your anxiety or silencing your inner critic, you meet those parts with understanding. You might notice yourself thinking, “A part of me feels scared,” rather than “I’m such a mess.” That small shift creates space — and space is where healing happens.
The Self doesn’t fix parts—it listens, loves, and leads.” — Richard Schwartz
Why Clients Love IFS
If you’ve never experienced IFS, it can sound abstract at first — all this talk of “parts” and “Self.” But in practice, IFS feels deeply personal and intuitive. Many clients describe it as finally learning a language for their inner world — one that makes sense of their emotions instead of judging them.
You don’t have to believe in any special theory for it to work. You simply begin to notice the different parts of you that show up — the worried one, the protector, the tired one that just wants peace — and, little by little, you start to meet them with compassion. Something inside begins to relax. You realize that the parts you’ve been fighting are actually trying to help you.
Clients often share:
“IFS gave me permission to stop hating parts of myself.”
“I realized my anxiety wasn’t the enemy—it was trying to protect me.”
“For the first time, I felt like I could trust myself.”
Because IFS doesn’t shame or reject any part of you, it builds self-acceptance and inner harmony. Over time, clients move from inner battles to inner teamwork, discovering that the same parts that once caused pain can become sources of wisdom and strength.
Begin Your IFS Journey
We spend so much of our lives trying to fix ourselves—quieting the anxious parts, silencing the critic, hiding what feels “too much.” IFS turns that approach upside down. It teaches us that real transformation begins when we stop fighting our inner world and start listening to it.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of your parts; it’s about welcoming them home. When you meet your inner world with compassion, your system begins to settle. The noise softens, your confidence returns, and the Self—the calm, clear presence at your center—naturally takes the lead.
If you’re curious about exploring your parts hrough IFS, I’d love to walk alongside you. Together, we can help you rediscover the clarity, confidence, and compassion that are already within you.
